The Functionality of non doing

We each learn different lessons at different times in life. This just seems to be the way it goes. This can feel or think confusing if we are in partnership or close relationship and end up in power dances, polarity and mirroring. We can often think that if you do X I must also be doing X or I should do Y to counter it out.

For example, if my partner is taking drugs or scrolling, living in distraction or from a survival nervous system state, we can feel that we must counter balance this with its “opposite”. This may look like getting very hard edged around taking drugs, or deleting all apps on your phone, it may be that you meditate often and learn heaps about the nervous system. These are great things, however when we move into over functioning to counter our partners behaviour we can often miss the Self in all that. We are often trying to prove a point from the perspective of “my way is righter than yours”. This is often not very well received or experienced in relationships. We feel each other’s material.

The art of non doing starts to ask questions about where we are on our specific journey and what would help us live in ways we value at this time. Do I value meditating daily, or never scrolling right now, or am I controlling my behaviour to force the hand of the other into change that takes our nervous system and minds into a more comfortable place.

We start developing present compassion through becoming resent with our own lessons, patterns and intuition of what is required of me right now.