Couples Counselling
At Inner Motus Therapy we provide support through present awareness, attunement and practical tools to begin to relate to each other from our Adult Self in the present moment. As we learn how to take care of, self sooth, acknowledge and communicate with Self and each other, our relationships often transform into healthy, stable, reality based connections. Ruby works actively in sessions primarily with three main pillars when supporting couples:
Attunement: This is a fundamental part of relating. We need and want to be able to Feel each other. We are pack animals with attachment systems at play in our relationships and if we miss this key part to the work, we often will be stuck in protective cycles. Attainment is about building capacity and awareness of the present moment and learning to share that moment with each other. When all emotional states are “known” to the body and are no longer always linked with fear (unless “real” danger is present) we have a better ability to express and share these states with each other.
Building Pain and Nervous System Capacity: This is more of the somatic body awareness and is connected to our original childhood patterning (attachment content). How our emotions, including emotional pain as children was worked with, and if that supported our nervous system to develop a sense of safety in the body and emotional states of being/expressing. Often times we will play out our attachment wounding, or protective patterns we learnt a long time ago, this was protective at one point, but often does not serve us any longer, especially if the pattern is the only choice we have in the moment. At Inner Motus Ruby works with you to develop more conscious choice while honouring and understanding the original pattern. This is about being present and noticing if danger is actually present, or if it’s your body responding to another time.
Communication: This is a key part of adult relating. We need to have awareness of our words, our actions and how they meet each other in partnership. The integrity and honesty of our words matters and many of us learn to say “the right” words, rather than the true and honest words. Ruby supports you to speak with honesty, clarity and integrity, that what you feel is what you say, however, this is also about the saying things to our partners that honours the bond, the relationship and each other as human beings.
Ruby uses therapeutic modalities such as:
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Gottmans trained (level one, with ongoing mentorship and training)
Attachment therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Internal Family Systems
Depth work or Psychodynamic therapy
60-90 Minute couples therapy session:
Do you and your partner(s) find yourself in the same conflict patterns, feeling misunderstood or disconnected from each other? At Inner Motus Therapy, Ruby works with you to begin noticing what patterns are at play, we often call this “pain body tennis”. Our attachment styles and how we were raised gives us the foundations for how we relate to ourselves, and each other. Sometime for some of us, our emotional expression, needs and sense of self wasn’t developed safely or fully.
The primary work that is done throughout therapy is emotional attunement. This is a practice that allows the body to stay soft (out of tense fear states) while being with, or communicating with your partner. This allows us to feel each other, stay in connection while :big” relational things are moving. Ruby supports you in the moment to work with what arises that may take you into pain, withdrawal, defensiveness or tension, learn how to honour our protective body movements, and practice staying soft and connected in the body with each other.
Ruby works with couples of all genders, stages and phases of their relationships, and has skills at working with conflict, as well as developing deeper and more sustainable, Joyful connections that include play, fun and Love.
Eye to Eye Couples Breathwork session
Eye to Eye Breathwork is a form of Conscious Connected Breathwork that does…
How a session runs:
Who is this for:
when would you do eye to eye